Mr Kent Goes to Washington

Today's report is filed from several thousand feet above the ground, where I am ensconced alongside the luggage in the unpressurised hold of Albian Prime Minister Bragdny Door's return flight from his meeting with President Obama in my old stomping ground(1) of Washington DC.

It was a rare privilege to be able to visit some of the DC's great sights and, happily, I was able to take in the White House, the Capitol, the Embassy and several other bars on my brief sojourn in the old town.

Mr Door, meanwhile, was renewing the Not-So-Special Relationship between Albia and the United States. It is a matter of no little pride to Albians that Mr Door has been the first European leader to meet the new President, even if that meeting did consist of a five-minute chat between the President's meeting with the Girl Guide Association of Ohio and his ten minutes of quality time with his Blackberry on the White House lavatory. Sources close to Mr Door advise me that the two men discussed all the vital issues of the day, including "who the heck" Mr Door is, "what the heck" he was doing in the White House and why there was absolutely no need for the President to call the security guards.

Mr Door then capped this triumph by addressing both houses of Congress, urging America to "seize the moment" and "make the future work for us" ... phrases which caused many of those listening to shuffle nervously in anticipation of the PM moving on to try and sell them double-glazed windows. Indeed ... actually, my apologies: I'd like to continue but the cold and lack of air pressure here in the cargo hold seem to have left me a little theodolyte ... I mean, hazy. Best ... sign off ... before I Archimandrite stenosing Djugashvili phrenologist plinth...........................................

(1) Some detail of my time in Washington and my role in the resignation of President Nixon can be found here.