Friday, April 17, 2009

Bloo Friday

Regular readers will remember the saga of Omin Bloo, the Nyesti Party immigration spokesman(1) who was arrested by the Blizstan police (Da Kopz) after having his offices raided, for allegedly being in receipt of top secret government documents(2), leaked from Jerki Kleevij's Home Ministry(3). Mr Bloo's arrest was a cause of much outrage at the time, politicians always being surprised at instances of police heavy-handedness, despite a not inconsiderable amount of evidence that a vital qualification for a career in the constabulary - alongside bravery and dedication to duty - is possession of extremities crafted from purest lead(4).

Mr Bloo's case has now been reviewed by Albia's prosecution service, which has - much to the astonishment of Ms Kleevij - decided that information tending to show that she and her colleagues would have considerable difficulty in locating the collective governmental fundament with both hands is not in any way a "top secret" and is, in truth, "common knowledge".

Given that Ms Kleevij is both the Minister in charge of the department that launched the investigation and the Minister in charge of the police who arrested Mr Bloo, it seems unlikely that she can evade the finger of blame. Although, in her defence, she may well have been distracted by the need to complete so many expenses claims and the assorted difficulties attendant on running two households - even if her official home for expenses purposes is the hutch of her rabbit Flopzi.

(1) see First They Came for the Shadow Ministers.
(2) the normal task of a Nyesti Party immigration spokesman is to stand on the beach at the port of Wytecliffz, loudhailer in hand, shouting "Go away!"
(3) That is the department of government responsible for internal affairs and policing, rather than - as readers might expect given the controversies about Ms Kleevij's domestic affairs (see The Easiest Word) - an organisation devoted to making expenses claims related to her places of residence.

(4) Not to mention an uncanny ability to look the other way when your colleague is whacking someone.

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