And so high noon strikes in Albia's parliament, da Grevvitren. Today, Bagwnd Baffuld, the man who has become the centre of the hurricane(1) over BGs' allowances(2) will try to pre-empt a motion of no-confidence(3) by making a statement to Parliament. This will not be an easy task for him, both due to the ever-increasing opposition from all sides of the House and to the fact that convention will not permit him to run a slow-moving finger under the big words when he comes to read from his prepared speech.
Meanwhile, so disgusted are Albians with their rulers that opinion polls suggest they are increasingly turning to other, smaller parties such as da Grinz (Albia's tree-huggers), the purple-faced and slick-suited nationalists of the APE and the purple-faced, bull-necked and tattooed nationalists and racists of the Albian National Party(4). In contrast to the mainstream of politics, the latter two parties are, between them, known for the strength of their convictions ... especially the ones for fraud (for the APE), incitement of racial hatred and actual bodily harm (for the C.U.N... actually, I think I'll just call them the nationalists).
(1) Actually, this is a dreadful metaphor. Normally one associates the centre of a hurricane with an eerie calm, whereas Mr Baffuld has huffed, puffed, wheezed and blustered enough to be considered as the site for Albia's next wind farm.
(2) for the history of the allowances scandal, see Payback Time, Coughing (and Shuffling) Up, Perked Up, Swine Flu Fever, Kryptonite of the Long Knives, He Who Pays the Piper ... et al.
(3) An unprecedented event, the last time woofferantweeta of da Grevvitren to be removed being Horz Jam Kevyn in 1695, chucked out for bringing da Grevvitren into disrepute by demanding too small a bribe to put legislation through the House.
(4) The Constityshn Ulbiansk vur Nazyonal Transvormati Sozyal in Albian - a name whose initials happily reflect the view of most Albians on the party's membership.