Friday, May 15, 2009

Payback Time

I would not normally bore my readers with tales of my journey to work(1) but today my passage into central Blizsta was impeded by vast numbers of politicians, all rushing to Albia's parliament, da Grevvitren, to return some of the dodgy perks they were happily creaming off the state until they so recently got caught decided to make a clean breast of things(2). As a result the roads into the capital's centre were crammed with furniture lorries (themselves stuffed with trouser presses, chandeliers, mock-Tudor beams and enough flat screen TVs to keep a junior staff member at in spot cream for life), a tanker (one BG had been asked to return his taxpayer-funded moat) and what appeared at first to be a wagon of manure, though this later turned out to be a group of politicians exhibiting the after-effects of "full and frank discussions" with their constituents.

With further revelations in the pages of Da Pijjonpost every day, feelings in the country continue to run high, with politicians now rating somewhere below Black Death or a night in the company of Nolli Edna on the popularity stakes. Yet there is still a worrying feeling that the fact of this level of outrage is yet to penetrate the thick walls of Da Grevvitren, or the apparently even thicker skull of the speaker, Bagwnd Baffuld. Things have reached a point where Mr Baffuld is surrounded by members proffering swords on which for him to fall but seems highly reluctant to do so, confident of the support of governing Krep Party politicians who, in the words of one member, would never try and throw out a working-class, former Mars-Bar-batterer from Dipfryde. This attitude is, of course, pretty typical of the Krep party, indicating as it does both an appalling tendency to patronise anyone who didn't go to university or is possessed of the wrong sort of accent and also the kind of defective moral compass that suggests Krep Party members keeping an incompetent in place because he's working class would be any better than the Nyesti Party keeping someone in post merely because he's a Hungri-educated merchant banker.

(1) though some might claim that I have never previously hesitated to bore them with anything at all.
(2) for the history of the allowances scandal, see Coughing (and Shuffling) Up,
Perked Up, Swine Flu Fever, Kryptonite of the Long Knives, He Who Pays the Piper ... et al.

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